Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Construction



Al Kowalski and Bill Rodrigues worked in construction for several years. They were feared throughout New Jersey after picking fights with weaker men and yelling profanities at every female passerby. To supplement their income, the two honed their fighting skills by moonlighting in the highly illegal Newark Association of Rugged Derelicts (NARD) fighting club. The two eventually quit the construction business when the era of political correctness prevented them from shouting their lewd comments in public. Always looking for obnoxious talent, BWF CEO Bob Boorstein quickly lured them to the BWF with a contract that encouraged them to "be themselves". By being themselves, Al and Bill muscled their way up the tag team ranks through means of hostile abuse and loud, drunken behavior. In addition to their BWF fame, Construction are also known for being the official spokesmen for Crotty Beer, the man's beer that "ain't for no briefcase-wagglin', telephone-usin', shirts-with-sleeves wearin' pussies!"

Al Kowalski: Slightly more restrained than Bill, Al is a dirty fighter,a filthy talker, and quite a fix-it man at home. He will carefully avoid anything not directly related to tools, beer, fighting or breasts, dismissing them as "gay".

Bill Rodrigues: If there is a woman's behind within arms length, Bill will slap it without hesitation. If a skinny guy with glasses walks by, he will promptly break the glasses and occasionally the man's jaw. It has been suggested that Rodrigues suffers from Tourette's Syndrome as he constantly shouts vulgarities and unexpected words and syllables. But it's also very possible that he's just an asshole.

Combined Weight: 512 lbs.

Finishing Maneuver: The Cement Mixer