Monday, September 11, 2006
Awright theah all you skinny, non-sledgehammer-usin' pussies, it's time for Construction's Top 10 Dating Tips, brought to you by yours truly, Bill Rodriguez, and that dickhead partner of mine Al Kowalski. If you need to know how to find some lovin' the Construction way, look no further. Crack a Crotty, and sit back.
1. Chicks love bein harrassed. If they didn't, why would they wear shoes like that? I don't know if you know this or not, but high heels were designed to make the calf muscles stand out. Why? So's we can look at 'em. And, if that weren't enough, the way that high heels make a woman walk, you know what I'm talkin about, what with the balance and all, make their asses swing from side to side. So you tell me. Do they want us to look? You bet your briefcase-clutchin' ASS they do. So yell it out anytime you see anything that even remotely strikes you as sexable. They love it.
2. If you find yourself in a long-term relationship, like over ten minutes or so, you might want to think about payin' attention to whatever the baby machine is sayin'. If chicks think you're payin' attention, you're one step closer to gettin' your piledriver to drive her pile, if you follow me.
3. Crack a joke. Anytime you get a tit jiggler chucklin', it's like she's already naked. A wise man once said, "A laughing girl already has one hand on her panties." I would've put it differently, somethin' like, "Make her laugh and she'll fuck."
4. Slap her on her can. The sooner the better.
5. Rejection: yeah, it happens. That's why you gotta hit on every single piece of jiggle food that walks by. Out of 1000 attempts, somethin's gotta hit.
That's all for now, dickbags. The next 5 will come when I'm damn good and ready. Crotty Up, pussies!