Sunday, September 10, 2006

Og More Write

Q: Hey, Og. I got a couple of things here, I'm not really too sure where to turn for advice, so I'm writing to you. The problem is, my cousin is planning a wedding and he asked that all the guests just simply send a check instead of the customary gift. Is this really correct etiquette? And there is one more thing - my wife and immediate family don't have any idea that I find myself sexually turned on by hedgehogs. Not just hedgehogs themselves, but really anything even tangenitally involving hedgehogs. Magazine articles, radio programs, suggestive pictures, you know. What do I do?

- Totally Normal Guy in Michigan

A: Mmm-hmm. Do not think for second that Og not understand perfectly where you come from. I come from being frozen in glacier. So you see? Our problems really same.

Q: Og, I can't help it. There's just something about the world today that is bringing me down in a way I can't describe. The climate going haywire, the political situation in this country, the disastrous foreign policy, the proliferation of terrorists, the seemingly accelerating spiral into a fear-driven world state, the fact that our country's image to the rest of the world is one of blindingly stupid, obese, gun-toting intolerant Christian wacko zealots, the fact that we all seem to be plunging headlong to an almost irreversible apocalypse - I guess my question is, Og, can I get tickets to Sunday night's pay-per-view spectacular Big Ass Rumble In Cucamunga?

- Doomsday Dan in Des Moines

A: Me always happy to help fan. And keep chin up! Me seen world end once; it not so bad. 40,000 years later, me tag champion!