Sunday, September 10, 2006

Dear Og: More Advice From the Stone Age

Q: My father-in-law just refuses to accept me into the family and it's starting to drive a wedge into my otherwise perfect marriage. I go out of my way to be nice and respectful to him but he always responds by throwing silverware at my balls.   And my wife refuses to stand up for me when he's around!.   Og, please help! 

- Pathetic in Pleasant Hill

A: Hmm.  Me know how you feel.  As Neanderthal, not good at using coffee grinder.   But then, me not like coffee taste so it not all be bad.   Thak and me tag champions.   Big thank you for question!

Q: How do you find the courage to stand up against teams much bigger than yourselves, such as Ham and Cheese?  

- Bobby August, Maple Ave

A: Ahh.  Me let you in on Neanderthals secret, please not tell.   Thak and me bite and punch people in face many times and they fall down. Always pleasure.

Q: Hey Og, how's it going. Well, I took your advice about rolling around in garbage, you know, to help with my back spasms.  Unfortunately my problems only worsened.  Now, not only am I still in pain, but I'm also covered in garbage and my friends all laugh at me. Og, what should I do now? 

- Chuck Kaplan, Natick

A: Hmmm..  Must think... Ok, thinking done. Neanderthals not take insults personally.   Perhaps run into wall repeatedly can help.